The Perfect Imperfection
Introduction:
Body image is a concept that is individually constructed slowly overtime and is dependent largely on input from our communities, culture, subcultures and life experiences. It really refers to how we perceived our imagined body and includes our own estimates of body proportions, our emotional feelings about our appearance and our fundamental beliefs around body shape and appearance.
Being in the centre of the life cycle it is an interesting conundrum. On one hand, most of us have passed the insecurity of our twenties when many of us did not feel comfortable nor confident in our skin and compared ourselves to the imagery presented by the media (aka dolly magazine and later CLEO and Vogue)…. or soapies – Isla Fisher and Heather Locklear providing all of us with such healthy bench marks.
The over exposure led many of us to an idealized body type and photoshopping now filters permitting us to edit out perceived flaws. The grass was always greener – those with straight hair longed for curly locks, those with alabaster skin seeking a tan with coconut oil and the blue eyed beauties desiring nothing but green almond eyes. As adolescents we clambered ungraciously through our exploration of our sexual selves – fumbling in the darkness shy and lacking all confidence.
As we grow into our confidence, we begin to shed our layers of people pleasing tendencies and feel more comfortable in our skin it is only ironic our bodies physically commence to loose our silken youthful skin, develop belly rolls, curves, sagging breasts, smile lines and the veins that we didn’t know we had come to light….. it’s up to us to make the choice.
By really being body aware and connecting with our healthy self it unshackles us from holding our beautiful bodies in a world of disdain and embrace the joys of the journey. It is about moments such as of a beautiful meal shared with friends, no longer obsessing over the calorie count or jumping in a sauna and not caring for a moment of covering your body shape.
For many it is about learning a level of self-compassion as we gain life experience that impacts our body confidence directly. I remember distinctly the moment in my early forties that I made the conscious decision to no longer embark in exercise that I didn’t enjoy – this was a small but enlightening epiphany. No more boot camp. No more hill sprints. No mountain biking…… all exercise I do now is exercise I honestly love to participate in.
It was also the realization that my body was not just a casing but it was the masterpiece of my family’s genetics, my environment, my diet, the two children I carried for nine months and breast fed – it was so much more than the simply the physical parts.
It was COVID that taught me to gently walk and not have to run to a point of exhaustion each day. Acceptance was a beautiful part of letting perimenopause set in and do its things – however the more I began to listen to its needs and give it more sleep, more protein, more movement, more silence, more rest, more water – this was when the appreciation really set in of just how incredible our bodies really are. I can only relay the moments of my own journey however if I had five points to making friends with our middle aged sagging bodies the only points I could say from the many women I have engaged in this conversation with is:
A. Listen to your body – inner body awareness is key – its not about the outside body but also the inside body (try meditation???)
B. Engage with aging – embrace the journey and keep exploring your passions. Start studying, try a new hobby,
C. Don’t be an ageist – defunct the beliefs you have on getting old
D. Stay connected – it is the recipe of basic happiness – to your family, or a community if your family suck, or or or – its really time to find your tribe and if they don’t like you or what you represent, F&^% it move on and they can find their tribe.
E. Stay active – whatever you choose make it enjoyable (sex, yoga, riding, hiking – whatever it is)
Our aging body is going to happen whether we botox or we don’t. However positive body imaging and positive aging will assist us redefine beauty and self- worth. Together it will help us explore the richness of each moment, each day and each passing year. True beauty is timeless and extends far beyond the superficial constraints of cultural perception. Surely as our breasts begin to droop, our chins start to multiply, our hips commence to expand…… we dig deep and realise none of this really matters and that the joy is found internally and in the quality and meaning of life.
